The Dreaded Day

It’s almost like I knew this day was coming. Strangely, I was feeling depressed yesterday. No reason in particular, just down in the dumps. But, given my stage of life, that mysterious and not-so-lovely phase of menopause, I didn’t think much of the mood swing. Most of the time, I feel great. When I don’t, it’s not my fault, it’s menopause. (I wonder how long I can milk this excuse.)

I went to bed early last night and committed myself to rise early and go to the gym for some much-needed endorphins and pound shedding. I felt great after my workout! Upon my return home, as I was contemplating either an extremely early start at work or cleaning my house, my dilemma was interrupted by a text message. Oops! I’d forgotten that I was supposed to meet my girlfriend at Starbucks for a hot chocolate. She was moving our meeting place much closer to my house, so off to Dominican Joe’s I went.

I had a great cup of hot chocolate while listening to my dear friend bring me up to date on the latest chapter of her interesting personal saga. She even mentioned how she was jealous that I had such a great job – working out of my home as a business analyst, performing a job I truly enjoy with people I really like at a great company. “Yes,” I thought, “I feel so blessed.”

During my one-on-one meeting with my manager this morning (the 7th manager I’ve worked under, by the way, since my contracting stint began two years ago), I felt prompted to ask about my future with the company. I knew my contract was up in June, and although previous managers had tried to bring me on board as an employee, they’d met with a No-Remote-Employee Policy that could not seem to be negotiated. I honestly felt that if I simply did my best at my job, and developed strong relationships with the project stakeholders, I would prove my value to the company and an exception would be made. I know I’m good at what I do.

Well, that strategy didn’t pan out. My manager disclosed in answer to my question that in June the company would not be renewing my contract due to budgetary constraints. Glad I asked. The only other time this happened to me was when I got laid off by my present company’s main competitor. I was doing a great job then, too! Maybe I’m in the wrong industry.

I’m indulging in a half-day pity party, but beyond that, it’s back to my cheery self. After all, with a life as blessed as mine, I have no reason to mope.

I noticed a voice message on my cell phone after my meeting with my manager. It was a recruiter. She was just checking to see if I was still happy with my present position, or if I might be in the market for a new gig.

See, even with just a mustard seed of faith, all kinds of doors can open. And, my faith is so much greater than a mustard seed.

I’m human (and menopausal, don’t forget), so I’m going to blow up the balloons for my party as I sit on the pity pot.  I won’t be here long, though, so stay tuned for “the good stuff”.

“Employment, sir, and hardships prevent melancholy”—Samuel Johnson

“The blessing of an active mind, when it is in a good condition, is, that it not only employ itself, but is almost sure to be the means of giving wholesome employment to others.” –Unknown

“…for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” –Matthew 17:20

Time to Move a Mountain, Y’all!