One morning, recently, I caught sight of myself in the mirror as I was getting dressed. “Whoa! Where’d that pooch come from?!” I turned in a 360˚circle, all the time keeping my eyes on the mirror as I inspected my unrecognizable body. It appeared to me that I had morphed into a fat woman.
And, then I smiled. I thought to myself, “I am Fat & Happy!”
“Whatever has happened to me?” I wondered. I’d spent my life concerned, to a degree, about my weight, trying to eat healthy, but more importantly, exercising daily so that I would avoid an encounter like this with my critical mirror. How did I get here? (And, whose flabby arms are those?!)
In my early 40s, I had been a runner, jogging about 3 miles per day. In addition, I did various exercises each day, such as leg lifts and stomach crunches. I was fit and trim, and best of all, I could still eat all my chocolate and sweets, with no negative consequences.
In my mid-40s, I was diagnosed with moderate arthritis in my hips and was told not to run anymore. I joined a gym and substituted 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer for my morning jog. That seemed to work, and I could still eat whatever I wanted.
The last three years, though, my dedication to daily exercise decreased dramatically – partly due to depression, partly due to the car accident I had last year, and mostly due to sheer laziness. And, now at age 49, with 50 closing in on me next month, I have far exceeded all the waistlines of my favorite clothes. Although this change in my physical life does not seem to be working well for my body, I am still eating whatever I want…only now it shows.
Yes, here I am, Fat & Happy.
I think much of my happiness is on the inside, not the outside. Thinking back to times of my svelte self, I was happy with my body, but not very happy with my life. I am now at a very good place on my Journey. I traversed a difficult couple of years on a detour that resulted in depression and deep sadness, yet through it all, my loving Heavenly Father was near. As I drew closer to Him for strength, I found the peace and comfort I needed. My mother and father transformed into His angels, wrapping me up in their blanket of love and support. My friends expressed their concern and love. My mind and spirit healed, and I began to feel joy again.
Reconnecting with Gene and then marrying, has brought me another level of happiness I had not previously known. Total acceptance and love from another human being for just being me, no matter what that looks like, is a new experience. Perhaps it was an unconscious test. Would he still love me if I got fat? My love-blind husband frequently addresses me with “Hey, Gorgeous!” and tells me all the time how pretty he thinks I am.
I think, too, that much of my weight gain can be attributed to stress – a new marriage, a new job, a new home. When I’m stressed, I eat M&Ms. And, I’ve eaten LOTS of M&Ms since June. But then again, I eat M&Ms when I’m not stressed, too. I really should buy stock in The Mars Company.
“Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not! “ ~ Author Unknown
I may be Fat & Happy now, but I think if I continue at this rate of expansion, I might soon be a bit too Fat and a lot less Happy. As I sit here and ponder about all of this over a bowl of delicious, multi-colored M&Ms, those bite-sized bits of Heaven, I have resolved to incorporate more daily exercise back into my life. That way, I can return to a body I recognize and still enjoy my little chocolate friends.
“Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.” ~ Author Unknown
“The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends” ~ Author Unknown
If You’re Happy & You Know It, Show It, Y’all!!
And, then I smiled. I thought to myself, “I am Fat & Happy!”
“Whatever has happened to me?” I wondered. I’d spent my life concerned, to a degree, about my weight, trying to eat healthy, but more importantly, exercising daily so that I would avoid an encounter like this with my critical mirror. How did I get here? (And, whose flabby arms are those?!)
In my early 40s, I had been a runner, jogging about 3 miles per day. In addition, I did various exercises each day, such as leg lifts and stomach crunches. I was fit and trim, and best of all, I could still eat all my chocolate and sweets, with no negative consequences.
In my mid-40s, I was diagnosed with moderate arthritis in my hips and was told not to run anymore. I joined a gym and substituted 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer for my morning jog. That seemed to work, and I could still eat whatever I wanted.
The last three years, though, my dedication to daily exercise decreased dramatically – partly due to depression, partly due to the car accident I had last year, and mostly due to sheer laziness. And, now at age 49, with 50 closing in on me next month, I have far exceeded all the waistlines of my favorite clothes. Although this change in my physical life does not seem to be working well for my body, I am still eating whatever I want…only now it shows.
Yes, here I am, Fat & Happy.
I think much of my happiness is on the inside, not the outside. Thinking back to times of my svelte self, I was happy with my body, but not very happy with my life. I am now at a very good place on my Journey. I traversed a difficult couple of years on a detour that resulted in depression and deep sadness, yet through it all, my loving Heavenly Father was near. As I drew closer to Him for strength, I found the peace and comfort I needed. My mother and father transformed into His angels, wrapping me up in their blanket of love and support. My friends expressed their concern and love. My mind and spirit healed, and I began to feel joy again.
Reconnecting with Gene and then marrying, has brought me another level of happiness I had not previously known. Total acceptance and love from another human being for just being me, no matter what that looks like, is a new experience. Perhaps it was an unconscious test. Would he still love me if I got fat? My love-blind husband frequently addresses me with “Hey, Gorgeous!” and tells me all the time how pretty he thinks I am.
I think, too, that much of my weight gain can be attributed to stress – a new marriage, a new job, a new home. When I’m stressed, I eat M&Ms. And, I’ve eaten LOTS of M&Ms since June. But then again, I eat M&Ms when I’m not stressed, too. I really should buy stock in The Mars Company.
“Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not! “ ~ Author Unknown
I may be Fat & Happy now, but I think if I continue at this rate of expansion, I might soon be a bit too Fat and a lot less Happy. As I sit here and ponder about all of this over a bowl of delicious, multi-colored M&Ms, those bite-sized bits of Heaven, I have resolved to incorporate more daily exercise back into my life. That way, I can return to a body I recognize and still enjoy my little chocolate friends.
“Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.” ~ Author Unknown
“The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends” ~ Author Unknown
If You’re Happy & You Know It, Show It, Y’all!!
Posts
Trust me Grayson, you are beautiful. My very first thought when I met you was how very pretty you are. Dad is big into fitness too so grab him to go with you. He will love it!
ReplyDeleteI have an elliptical and slim in 6 but time is killing me...the slim in 6 is not getting used, unfortunately.
Gonna keep trying 'cause I am fat too!
Liz
This blog makes me so happy! I love the honesty, after each baby I had I would confront my large rear and think 'I am going to exercise and only eat very organic foods'. Never happened. Lucky I had shrinkage on the back end but one day it is going to fluff back up and I will have to go to the Gym with my gym-rat sister Lori.
ReplyDeleteProbably not- I will join others in the 'Fat and Happy' crowd!