Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Brilliant Time of Life

“Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.” -- Thomas A. Edison

If perspiration is what makes up 99% of genius, then I am downright, off-the-charts brilliant! Even though this has been a relatively mild Texas summer, you wouldn’t know it by looking at me. I have evolved over this past year into a seriously sweaty drip!

I’ve always been a perspiring sort, with beads of sweat accumulating on my upper lip, but after hitting the age of 50, it feels like I’ve found my Inner Faucet instead of my Inner Child. And, the faucet must be broken, too, because I can’t seem to turn it off.

Here I sit in my room with the temperature at 70 degrees and a box fan blowing full blast on me, and, I still have to swipe at my forehead, chin or upper lip every few minutes. What seems clear to me is that this heavy duty waterworks has nothing to do with summer. I appear to have slipped into the Menopause Zone.

Although I technically do not fully qualify as menopausal, I do have the majority of menopausal symptoms. And, most notable are the hot flashes.

Now, for all I know, I may not have had a true hot flash yet. After all, I thought I was in heavy labor when I was pregnant with my son. Yet, the doctors sent me home from the hospital three times, telling me not to come back until I couldn’t hardly walk. But, didn’t they understand? It hurt!! When the heavy labor finally did settle upon me, I suddenly understood that the pain before then had been a cake walk.

Nevertheless, my internal thermometer is definitely off. My thoughtful, patient husband bought me a small, battery-operated, personal fan to help. Although the little buzzing noise tends to draw attention, it’s worth it for some cooling relief. When not actively pointed at my face, the little fan serves to entertain fussy children. A genius must have thought of this little device!

I’m just hoping this brilliant time of life passes for me without any casualties to me or anyone else in my sweaty wake.

Stay Cool, Y’all!!

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