Thursday, July 29, 2010

Eye Can't See You

Today I went to Bella Vision on South Congress Avenue for an eye exam with a new optometrist, Dr. Li. It’s been about three years since I’ve had my eyes checked, and my glasses are pretty much on their last leg. It doesn’t help that I treat them like bad stepchildren, swinging them around by the earpiece, throwing them in the same pocket of my purse as my nail file, and sitting on them.

Dr. Li was a very personable Asian woman, who I liked instantly. Her four children and the assistant’s child were all there in the office, although you wouldn’t know it; They entertained themselves so well. The office was very nice, and the only thing bothering me was the heat. The examination room wasn’t as cool as I might have liked, either, and as I’ve noted before, my internal thermometer is way off.

As Dr. Li began my exam, I was surprised to discover that my old glasses were still providing me with 20/20 vision. We talked about using a different type of bifocal – one just for computer work and reading.

Pulling the phoroptor, or refractor, close to my face, Dr. Li began flipping lenses back and forth as I stared ahead at the eye chart. “Is it better with #1 or #2?...#3 or #4?” If you’ve ever had an eye exam, you know the drill. After awhile, I realized everything I was seeing was fuzzy. “Is it better with #6 or #7?”, Dr Li asked. “I really can’t tell a difference”, I replied, “they both look cloudy to me.”

I was fixin’ to get worried, envisioning some quick-creeping cataracts, when suddenly an idea popped into my mind. “I think the lens is fogged up.”, I said. Dr. Li seemed surprised, but wiped the lens with a special cloth. “Perfect!” I exclaimed. A few minutes later, the same problem happened again.

While dabbing away at the perspiration on my forehead, I explained to Dr. Li that I was going through some “changes” and my internal thermostat wasn’t working quite right. I told her that although my face was cool to the touch, I was burning up and sweating profusely all over my face and forehead. I admitted embarrassingly, that I must be the one creating the fog on the lenses.

I was so grateful to return to my car and crank up the air conditioner to high when my appointment was over. This has become the constant concern in my life….being cool enough. Come to think of it, I had that same concern when I was a teenager! And, just like then, I never do feel cool enough.

“What fun is it being cool if you can’t wear a sombrero?” –Calvin & Hobbes

“Don’t think of it as getting hot flashes, think of it as your inner child playing with matches.” –Unknown

I think my inner child’s favorite toy is a Barbie I can relate to:

Hot Flash Barbie
Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.

Keep Your Cool, Y'all!

No comments:

Post a Comment